Skip to main content

The Naked Baby Debacle


 It is now mid morning and Cora is peacefully sleeping in her crib. Occasionally when she naps I like to peek in on her. We have a video monitor that allows us to check on her from our phones. I open the monitoring app and my eyes widen. Oh no, not again!!! My adorable, sweet little girl was curled up into a little ball, butt up. This would seem normal, however on this particular afternoon, my daughters butt was completely bare. Where had her diaper gone? Her pants? More importantly, how in the heck did she get them off? Fear began to mount as I could recall the last time my child was naked and in bed. 


Not to long ago Cora had an ear infection. The doctor put her on antibiotics. A few days after being on the antibiotics Cora developed a nasty rash in, how shall I say...her nether regions. Poor girl was miserable. After trying different ointments and creams, we were left with no choice but to leave her naked to help dry the rash out. I kept her in the kitchen on some towels during playtime. At the time she wasn’t walking yet. This made keeping her naked much easier since accidents could be contained pretty easily. Nap time came and I thought, well, what’s the worst that can happen? She pees the bed and I will have to change the sheets? Boy was I wrong, so, so, so wrong. 

I get a call from my husband, “uh babe, you need to go check on our daughter.” Um, Why? My heart sinks and I panic slightly as I run to her room. Oh My God!!! My daughter has pooped the bed. That isn’t even the worst of it. Cora was playing with the poop. It was on the rails, the walls and her face. It was on her FACE. OH NO 🤦‍♀️ not her FACE. I pick her up and immediately put her in the bathtub, all clean and happily playing in the living room.

 I brace myself because I now must tackle the poop covered cage. For a moment I pictured monkeys at a zoo throwing their poop around. It gave me a bit of a chuckle but I quickly had flashbacks of my beautiful girl using her poop as if it were paint. I hate to ruin her masterpiece but I will be sure to get “Poopcasso” proper art supplies so she can create a new one. I squinted my eyes and plugged my nose to prepare to clean the now crusted over poop smears. I thought my daughter was laughing and taunting me. I can just hear her now, “hahaha, you are my slave and if you forget it, I’ll break the monkey out and you better be prepared for another naked baby debacle.” I give a slight shutter. Seeing her now, in her crib with her cute little butt in the air, I’m just praying she was hot and thought a cool breeze might feel nice. 

I wouldn’t dare wake her up for I fear I’ll have more than a monkey to worry about. The devil himself might spring out of that cage and to be honest the idea terrifies me. So for now I wait and pray that the only cleanup I have to prepare for is a a bit of pee. Cora is now awake and as I approach the door I can feel my heart pounding faster and faster. I stop and I lean my head against the door and let out a deep sigh. It’s time! I open the door, my prayers have been answered. We have avoided another naked baby debacle. I pick my daughter up and reapply her poop catcher as I let out another sigh, this time it is a sigh of relief. 

I think I might be traumatized forever. Every time I hear her make a monkey sound, I jump up with a mask and gloves in hand ready to duke it out with my little monkey.  


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The F Bomb?

  My daughter is officially at the age where her language development is sky rocketing. The confusing gibberish that she uses regularly is beginning to transform into somewhat discernible words. Most of the words that she can say clearly are on the basic “first words,” list, like, ball, mama, dada, shoes, socks and so on. Some of the words she attempts to say are still slightly unintelligible, but we are able to understand her thanks to the bits of sign language we taught her early on.  Everyday, we are more and more impressed as our child’s vocabulary expands, adding a new word or two daily. It’s getting hard to keep up. As much as I love this stage, I know it means that she is growing much faster than I am prepared for. Brett and I both love the fact that we can hold a conversation with her now, though usually the conversation is an adorable mix of babbling and connected words. Cora is also very animated when she speaks, using hand gestures and facial expressions to get her ...
Post a Comment
Read more

How do I look?

  Lately Cora has been into doing her own hair and makeup. She gleefully joins me in the bathroom as I get ready, rips through my makeup drawer and starts covering her face in eyeshadow, lipstick and anything else I might have in there. It’s adorable to watch as she tries to put the makeup on the correct places of her face, but, given the fact that she is 21 months old and not exactly using a mirror, you can only imagine how well her placement is, it’s like being blindfolded and playing pin the tail on the donkey, the makeup lands where it lands.  The other day Gramma came over to watch Cora so I could go to a doctors appointment. I usually ask if she can come over an hour or so before I have to leave, so I can take some time and get ready. I head to the bathroom and start getting ready, but, of course I leave the door open because Gramma and I need to have our typical gab fest while Brett isn’t around, he’s not exactly into the girl talk 😂. So, as I’m getting ready, Cora is ...
Post a Comment
Read more